Reflections on self-weaning
Zoë weaned off breast milk at the age of two years and seven months recently. It came as a pleasant surprise because we were dealing with many changes in our lives. Initially, I thought that I would probably have to feed her till she was five, for she loved taking breast milk.
I call it a pleasant surprise because even though I have no qualms about breastfeeding a child beyond her toddler years, I felt the weariness of her weight at the breasts.
We were returning to Singapore, after having lived in Hong Kong for the past four and a half years. It proved to be a huge adjustment for Zoë for she was always asking for her friends. That was why comforting her longer at the breasts was something I thought would happen naturally in the interim.
When we first got back, there was a period the grandparents she loved dearly went on a holiday that was planned some time back. They promised her lovingly that they would take her on the next trip if she were no longer taking breast milk.
The other major change was that I was pregnant. I asked Zoë if her not taking the breast milk was because it tasted different (or taking less, about once every three days initially). She nodded her head but I couldn’t be sure of a young child’s reply.
Finally, there were the changes of moving from the temporary service apartment to our own home and getting her very own bed. To this day, she would alternate between co-sleeping with us and sleeping in her own bed.
From the time I started breastfeeding or making my intentions known (when I was pregnant) people asked, “When do you intend to stop breastfeeding?” That question still baffles me (for I had hardly begin) and I am sure I will get the questions again with our second one. I draw an analogy of that of asking a child, “When will you stop studying?” (when the child just started school).
The benefits of self-weaning to us were: I did not have to give in to pressures of unsolicited advice regarding applying distasteful objects (bitter gourd, chili, medicated oil, just to name a few) to the breasts in order to “forced-wean” the child completely. I did not have to resort to lying to a child that “mummy has no more milk or that mummy’s milk has dried up”. Because the weaning (partial, then complete) took place over a long period of time, I did not suffer any engorgement. I am able to enjoy a toddler’s growth in her time and space. She took her time at letting go and in the process I was able to transit to the next phase of motherhood smoothly.
For LaLecheLeague newsletter. Postcard from Jeanne Anne Hsi, Singapore
I call it a pleasant surprise because even though I have no qualms about breastfeeding a child beyond her toddler years, I felt the weariness of her weight at the breasts.
We were returning to Singapore, after having lived in Hong Kong for the past four and a half years. It proved to be a huge adjustment for Zoë for she was always asking for her friends. That was why comforting her longer at the breasts was something I thought would happen naturally in the interim.
When we first got back, there was a period the grandparents she loved dearly went on a holiday that was planned some time back. They promised her lovingly that they would take her on the next trip if she were no longer taking breast milk.
The other major change was that I was pregnant. I asked Zoë if her not taking the breast milk was because it tasted different (or taking less, about once every three days initially). She nodded her head but I couldn’t be sure of a young child’s reply.
Finally, there were the changes of moving from the temporary service apartment to our own home and getting her very own bed. To this day, she would alternate between co-sleeping with us and sleeping in her own bed.
From the time I started breastfeeding or making my intentions known (when I was pregnant) people asked, “When do you intend to stop breastfeeding?” That question still baffles me (for I had hardly begin) and I am sure I will get the questions again with our second one. I draw an analogy of that of asking a child, “When will you stop studying?” (when the child just started school).
The benefits of self-weaning to us were: I did not have to give in to pressures of unsolicited advice regarding applying distasteful objects (bitter gourd, chili, medicated oil, just to name a few) to the breasts in order to “forced-wean” the child completely. I did not have to resort to lying to a child that “mummy has no more milk or that mummy’s milk has dried up”. Because the weaning (partial, then complete) took place over a long period of time, I did not suffer any engorgement. I am able to enjoy a toddler’s growth in her time and space. She took her time at letting go and in the process I was able to transit to the next phase of motherhood smoothly.
For LaLecheLeague newsletter. Postcard from Jeanne Anne Hsi, Singapore
posted by jeanne anne hsi at 11:00 PM
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